The conversations I need to have
Sitting down with myself and questioning why some emotions are met with open arms while others are shunned. When a person is happy, they hold onto it like it’s the last and best thing on earth but when a person is in pain, it’s different.
It’s difficult to sit and talk to your pain the way you talk to your happiness. It’s difficult to understand your pain the way you understand your happiness.
When someone asks you, what makes you happy…. you’re quick to answer…quick to put into words. Almost always; love, family, and friends. (The most common answers I’ve received)
When someone asks you why you’re sad, irritated, frustrated, angry, or in pain emotionally…. the answer is never that quick or detailed. Very few times I’ve found myself and other people able to put into words what their pain is like. To give us or themselves an idea of why they feel the way they feel.
Sure, emotion can’t be reduced to simple words or phrases but shouldn’t we be able to give insight on our sorrow as much as we are able to on our joy. We sit, listen, talk, and understand our joy. We converse with ourselves on occasions that are acceptable. When asked about our pain…we don’t know what to say and how to say it because we’re too busy running from the negative. We don’t understand why it’s there in the first place. We deem happiness important but pain, never the same. Pain isn’t given the same chance as all the other “glorious” emotions.
So here I was having a thoughtful conversation and I told this person to be. To not run or hide from the pain. I didn’t give them a “Be positive” mantra to follow or tell them everything was going to be alright. I asked them to pretend they were at a bus stop. The people who walked by acted as their emotions. Sometimes people stop to take a break or to get on the same bus as you. But they’re never always going in the same direction.
So, I asked this person to talk to each and every emotion that stopped by. Each and every emotion that sat next to them or lingered. Ask it why it’s there, why it’s staying so long or leaving too soon, why it’s intense or lurking in the background, why it’s important and what’s it’s trying to tell you.
The next day, I saw this note by Alex Elle and I couldn’t ignore it.
“Acknowledge your pain. let it surface and spillover. Give it permission to make an uncomfortable mess. Healing can happen this way. and so can emotional freedom. Face it all. Free it, it too. –Alex Elle “
So breathe through your emotions. Whether you’re gasping for air or taking in deep slow breaths. Just breathe through it. It’s easier said than done but you’re not one emotion. It’s just passing by.