What’s Important?

We talk to the people we love each and every day or we try to keep in touch as much as we can. When it’s time to catch up, we talk about the usual “normal things”. We talk about school, going out, and anything else that is easy to talk about.

But when someone asks how you’ve really been doing, it’s not always the easiest thing to tell them you’re not doing so great. It’s not easy to speak up because a lot of the time we’re told to keep up a facade. To keep on moving. You’re told that you can’t stop because people will get ahead of you. You started the “race” with people you’ve known for a while and you can’t let them leave you behind. So you put on a brave face. You check into that perfect life and make sure you don’t look a little broken. You make sure you look like the star-studded example of success in whatever you do or you make it far enough to not look like you’re struggling.

You find yourself going out more or putting extra hours into whatever you can, as long as it keeps you distracted. You work so hard at keeping up with everything else, that you start believing the facade. You start believing that there is no problem. It’s not until you look and realize while you were busy escaping your problems… they only accumulated.

So when you talk to your friend the next time, you talk about all the great and mediocre things in your life. You cover it all up. Because something hurts. Something doesn’t feel right with you but you don’t know what it is. You don’t know how to admit to your friend that everything isn’t as great as it seems…

But worst of all, you know that by admitting something isn’t right out loud, it makes it real. You can’t take it back. You finally put it out there.

Nobody tells you how hard it is to admit things to yourself. To tell yourself that you made a mistake. To tell yourself that you’re not okay and it’s okay not to be okay. Teaching yourself to unlearn all the unhealthy methods of coping. Teaching yourself to treat you better.

Nobody told you what owning up would look and feel like. Nobody told you tearing down the walls would not be easy.

A few people might cry in the shower because “you’re only allowed five emotional minutes out of the day.” Having sleepless nights and going through the day like nothing’s wrong. People will hide how they truly feel to keep up the facade. Is it worth it? When did that become okay? When did we start to think there is only strength in looking strong? When we did we let fear run our lives? When did we start to think strength meant being put together? I cannot go on believing that silence is the key to healing.

There is strength in vulnerability. There is strength in feeling and dealing with what you’ve ignored for so long. It could be your insecurities, your past, worrying about your future, or facing the present. It’s not going to be comfortable. It’s not going to be easy. But we always have to remember that even in those moments, we deserve the best and we will get there. We are always so deserving and steps away from our true and best self. But we can’t get there if we keep feeding the critic within us.

So when you think something doesn’t feel right, take the time to figure out what it is. If you feel like your friend isn’t okay, take the time out of your day to check on them. When people are different all of a sudden, don’t play by their rules and accept the facade.

Help them or simply just be there. Let them know you care.

Or you could be dealing with something. Acknowledge it. Don’t hide from yourself. Love yourself and heal. You never know what anyone is going through. Stand up for the people you love.